It’s my first ICLW and I took 2 days off blogging/commenting! Sorry for being a slacker but now I’m back, I promise. I’ve linked to some of my older posts that you might find interesting if you’re new to my blog, I think they show up as pink words.
Blue and I had a great weekend with friends and family. I was feeling pretty mad at the universe because I had done EVERYTHING right and still wasn’t any closer to being pregnant, so I did everything I’ve denied myself lately.
I ate Gluten, I ate dairy, I drank coffee, I drank wine, beer, champagne, etc. I rode jet skis. I lived my life. No regrets.
I’m back on the train for a bit though; I’ll be good again until we leave for
Europe (in 7 days!) While we’re there I’ll be stocked up on Cel.ebre.x for the pain and La.ctai.d for the tummy.
I feel like more has happened in the last week than I am even able to process and I’m a little mentally overwhelmed by it. Blue came home, it’s been incredible to have him home but that means less sit and process time for me which I guess in the wake of the shitty ovaries revelation is probably a good thing.
I processed these things about myself/Blue/TTC since Tuesday while explaining to people why we had to cancel this IVF...
- I have to Deal with the ovaries I’ve been dealt. I was given shitty rapidly ageing ones and now I just have to play the game a little different.
- I really want to be pregnant.
- Neither Blue or I care about having a biological child, we just want a child.
- I’m not ready to consider adoption because it means I wouldn’t get to carry my child and I really want that experience at least once.
- I care more about our babies having Blue’s genes than mine, his are better.
- I’d like to try at least once more with my eggs, but I’m totally OK with moving on to donor eggs in the near future.