I really want another baby, for many reasons, but I’m terrified of trying to get pregnant again, and I’m terrified of being pregnant again… I was so blessed to get pregnant, but I was TERRIBLE at it! Some people are glowing beautiful pregnant women, I was not. Every turn held more scary news and more complications, and that was after busting my butt for 2.5 years to get pregnant. Am I really ready to do that again?
|Remember when my feet looked like this?|
I’m worried that infertility will take over my life again, I’m worried that trying to have another baby will take away from the energy and time I have to spend with Marek. I’m worried I’ll slip back down the infertility black hole again and somehow it seems like I just made my way out of there!
I feel like I’m going into this round more prepared. I realize that statistically speaking I only have 1 baby in that cryo-tank, even though I have 4 frozen embryos. But will I still be able to think rationally about it when I get those 3 negative pregnancy tests, or worse, if I get a fourth?
Will those failures send me into another downward spiral? Is it worth it or fair to Marek to even head down this road?
And then I see two siblings together and my heart melts. My baby LOVES babies, he hugs (or tries to hug) every baby he sees. If I could just skip right to the baby part I’d have 4, but the parts before that are hard.
|He still kisses open mouthed, I hope he gets over that soon and doesn't start again until he's 20!|
|Are you sure I can't just give her one hug?|
|I need another one of these precious faces!|