Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Lindsey's Infertile A to Zs

Lindsey’s Infertile A to Zs
I stole this list from a non-IF blog and altered the questions to apply to life as an infertile, I wish I was answering the crossed out questions instead of the infertile version. 

A. Age Age when you started TTC: Lindsey - 24.  Blue – 27.   I wanted to start young because my parents had me really late in life and I really wanted them to be a part of our children’s life for as long as possible.  Looking back I realize this added even more unnecessary stress…

B. Bed Size Baby Dancing or Sex: I HATE the term baby dancing.  How old are we?  If we need to say baby dancing we’re not old enough to have babies!  I prefer sex or even baby makin’ pretty much any term wins out over dancing in my book..

C. Children Children wanted: I always thought I wanted 2 and when we married Blue said 3.  Now we’ve switched and I want 3, he wants 2.  At this point I’m willing to take as many as I can get.  Maybe I need to make a cardboard sign and stand on the road?  “Will work for babies!”

D. Dogs Dogs/Cats/Fill in Children: Two of the very best pups ever, except when they’re being bad, playing in the mud and stealing baby diapers out of the trash like yesterday...  Maybe it won’t make me as mad when they’re my baby’s diapers?

E. Essential start to your day Essential Oils/Vitamins/Snake Oils: At one point in time I was taking 29 pills per day (Chinese herbs, bee propolis, multivitamin, Vitamin D, Evening Primrose Oil, Fish oil, and baby aspirin.) I’ve also defused and rubbed essential oils, watched the secret, meditated, tried the emotional freedom technique, etc.   

F. Favorite color Fertility Meds I’ve taken: Clomid (it is the devil and if you have endo don’t take it!) Getting ready for the full gamut with IVF – lupron, follistim, ovidrel and PIO.

G. Gold or silver Gain: What have I gained from infertility?  Weight, stress, and a sarcastic attitude.  But on a positive note I’ve also gained a bigger appreciation for my hubby, my future morning sickness and how intricate our bodies really are.

H. Height HSG (Hystosalpingogram): Twice!  Once I was asleep, once awake and Blue was there.  I don’t think he liked it much, his response after was that he didn’t like seeing my insides.  On a positive note my tubes are sluggish but open.

I. Instruments you play Infertile Pet Peeves: Pregnant crack whores.  Fertiles complaining about pregnancy symptoms I’d kill for.   People who use Face book as a baby’s first year scrapbook

J. Job title (I left this the same since we can’t say SAHM): Drillsite Petroleum Engineer

K. Kids Kid’s names you’re afraid will be taken by the time you can use them: Lincoln and Arianna

L. Live for _____ Length of time TTC: 2 years this month.  Not an anniversary worth celebrating. 

M. Most embarrassing moment Miscarriages: None.  My heart goes out to all of you who have had one (or more) as much as I say I’d take any second line on a pee stick I would rather keep getting BFNs than to lose a baby.  This is my biggest fear with IVF, to think it might have worked and then to be crushed.

N. Nicknames Number of times you’ve switched OB/GYNS, REs, FSs: Three. I started with my GYN and went with her through the last round of Clomid, then I tried a doc on base, then made the leap to IVF and went with Dr. BFP.  I did a lot of research and called a lot of other docs along the way though.

O. Overnight hospital stays Ovarian quality: Crappy and covered in cysts.

P. Pet peeves POAS or wait for AF:.It varies from month to month.  I usually POAS by day 12, especially if I’m not spotting, but I never buy internet cheapy tests because I’ve seen so many give false hopes so I usually try and wait before I bust out the FRER or the Answer.

Q. Quote from a movie Quote from an obnoxious fertile: (after knowing we’ve moved on to IVF) “My friends cousin has endometriosis and she had trouble getting pregnant until she used acupuncture.  Maybe you should just do that?”  Thanks for the advice, been there done that.

S. Siblings Sperm: Blue has great swimmers.  High count, high motility and good morphology.  The IVF doc thinks he may have too many though (who knew that could happen, what an overachiever!) so he is going to fertilize half of our embies with ICSI.

T. Time you wake up Time you tried naturally: One year before the surgery.  Then 4 months more before starting Clomid.  4 rounds of Clomid before moving on to IVF.

U. University attended Uterus quality: About the only quality part I have.  My doc’s words after surgery last year was “your uterus is beautiful, IVF should work fine”.  I wish I had realized at the time that all the other junk wasn’t going to work fine!

V. Vegetables Vagina: Turns out this isn’t necessary to make a baby.  Reference this THIS totally rediculous story about a girl with no vagina getting pregnant after giving oral sex and then getting in a knife fight... Seriously? Seriously??   

W. What makes you run late What baby stuff do you already have?: Enough that if I brought home a baby today we’d be good to go..  I have a Chariot stroller (the king of all out door strollers) A glider rocker, girl and boy baby clothes of all sizes, a bassinette, maternity clothes, and last but not least an empty nursery with a killer view of the mountains.

X. X-rays you’ve had X-tra X-tra Hear all about it! How many people know the ins and outs of our crazy TTC journey?  Both of our families and most of my good friends.  A lot of our friends knew we had started trying 2 years ago so it wouldn’t surprise me if the rumor mill has filled them in.  Honestly I’d rather everyone know than constantly ask me when we’re going to start trying.  I think I want to keep the timing of our IVF pretty quiet though.

Y. Yummy food you make Yearly Exam (do you still go in even though someone sees your lady parts most months?: Yep.  It’s a good excuse to see my favorite doc, also I can’t imagine finding out I had an abnormal pap once I was pregnant!

Z. Zoo animal favorites Zits: To top off the shit pie served to me by infertility I am covered in zits like a greasy teenager.  Thanks for being a real prick IF.

So now you’ve read mine.  What are your IF A to Zs.  Maybe we can start the blog equivalent of a chain letter. (With out the fear of a year of bad luck if we don’t pass it along.)


  1. Ohhhh I hate me a pregnant crack whore!!!

    OK off to read the story about the girl who got pregnant from a bj. I cant wait to hear about the events that led up to the stabbing :) WHAT!!!!!!

  2. OMG!!!!! I just read the pregnant bj story. I am in shock. SHOCK!!!!!

  3. Love to see your clever posts. I'll give the A-Z a whirl soon. Perhaps you will start an IF blogging trend.

  4. "People who use Face book as a baby’s first year scrapbook" Love it! Don't we all know at least 10 of them.

  5. OMG that is a really awesome post! I might have to steal that one!!

  6. Love your post. Amazing how many things we endometriosis sisters have in common! Hating the stupid pimples right now.

  7. Sorry about my slow blogging this week :( LOVE IT... what a great idea xoxo