It’s easy to feel totally alone going through infertility, it’s easy to wallow in self pity and tell yourself no one understands. The beauty of blogging is that you realize you're not alone (even if you occasionally forget.) If I wanted to find another blog about an infertile engineer turned pregnant I could probably find it in about 30 seconds. But blogging, for me, hasn’t been about finding 100 other bloggers just like me, it has been about making friendships and connections, and I’ve made one that I hope will last forever.
I came across S.I.F's blog when I first started blogging. I realized she was also from
so I emailed her and we talked back and forth a few times. At the time she was really struggling after an unsuccessful FET but she still made the time to talk with me and support me. Alaska
Our few emails eventually turned into a hike, and that’s all it took, instant friendship. The day we went hiking was the day before I started lupron for IVF1.0. She helped me through the fear of what was to come and inspired me to stay hopeful. Most of you know the story of IVF1.0, but if you don’t, here is how it started, and here is how it ended...
I don’t think I’ve ever been in a darker place than I was after IVF1.0. I tried to stay positive, I objectively looked at the situation and pretended to be OK, but I wasn’t. My family and other friends tried to be there for me but they didn’t know what to say. S.I.F was there, always with the right words and a hug.
Prepping for IVF1.5 I was a mess again. I wasn’t feeling hopeful, S.I.F held the hope for me, she stayed positive and about a week before I left she made me a mix tape (the ultimate sign of friendship!) The CD was full of inspiring songs about how I was not in control and just needed to relax and live. It was on repeat in my car for that whole week and when ever I was about to lose it I turned it on and relaxed.
|My PP care package complete with 2 teen supernatural romances (which I've already finished...maybe I'm still 12?)|
When I was diagnosed with placenta previa and told I could do nothing fun for the next 6 months she made me a basket full of things to keep me entertained. She wrote a hilarious post about it here, but I’ll stick to the serious stuff… What an incredible friend.
I hope that someday I’ll look back at my years of infertility and understand why they had to happen. I think maybe one of the reasons is because otherwise I would never have met S.I.F…