IF made me an asshole

I was home sick for the last two days and kept seeing ads for a new show on Lifetime called One Born Every Minute.  It’s a reality TV show about an Ohio maternity ward where they deliver gaggles of babies every year.  I’m dumb, so I watched it.

There were three couples featured: a hippy couple, an older well established couple and a ghetto couple.  I have to give it to them for splitting up the demographics like that.  Anyway, I always struggle with accidental pregnancies (there was only one on this episode) but I was able to find reasons why I deserved a baby more than any of those other women.

Infertility has made me an asshole. 

Here are some reasons why.  The hippy couple was mean to their nurse and didn’t want an internal monitor for the baby.  Clearly I would be nice to my nurse and would do anything if it meant keeping my baby safe.  The older couple seemed ambivalent to the gift they’d been given, the women was 40 and was having her second baby in less than a year, plus when the nurse asked if she wanted the baby on her chest right after it was born she said no because it would be slimy.  The ghetto couple came in to start her labor and then the dad had to leave to go to Wal-Mart and buy a car seat / stroller.  I already have a car seat and a stroller, which obviously makes me better right? 

I realized after the show that maybe God wasn’t giving me a baby because I’ve become a judgmental woman that doesn’t deserve one…

So from here forward I will try really hard to see a pregnant woman and new parents as just that, parents who have been given a wonderful gift.  I will stop looking at them like people who have stolen my gift.  It is not their fault that my body is failing me.