Friday, February 4, 2011

IF made me an asshole

I was home sick for the last two days and kept seeing ads for a new show on Lifetime called One Born Every Minute.  It’s a reality TV show about an Ohio maternity ward where they deliver gaggles of babies every year.  I’m dumb, so I watched it.

There were three couples featured: a hippy couple, an older well established couple and a ghetto couple.  I have to give it to them for splitting up the demographics like that.  Anyway, I always struggle with accidental pregnancies (there was only one on this episode) but I was able to find reasons why I deserved a baby more than any of those other women.

Infertility has made me an asshole. 

Here are some reasons why.  The hippy couple was mean to their nurse and didn’t want an internal monitor for the baby.  Clearly I would be nice to my nurse and would do anything if it meant keeping my baby safe.  The older couple seemed ambivalent to the gift they’d been given, the women was 40 and was having her second baby in less than a year, plus when the nurse asked if she wanted the baby on her chest right after it was born she said no because it would be slimy.  The ghetto couple came in to start her labor and then the dad had to leave to go to Wal-Mart and buy a car seat / stroller.  I already have a car seat and a stroller, which obviously makes me better right? 

I realized after the show that maybe God wasn’t giving me a baby because I’ve become a judgmental woman that doesn’t deserve one…

So from here forward I will try really hard to see a pregnant woman and new parents as just that, parents who have been given a wonderful gift.  I will stop looking at them like people who have stolen my gift.  It is not their fault that my body is failing me.


  1. I love that you thought this was funny, because I laughed while I wrote it. I'm pretty sure if a fert read it they would totally agree that I'm an asshole!

  2. I am loving the title of this post!!! You are not an asshole. You are realistic, and I've got to tell you, when my mother-in-law watches those shows, she's judging right along with me (even though she doesn't get the IF stuff). Everyone does what you did, they just aren't aware of it and aren't trying to do better. So, from one not-an-asshole to another, I say you deserve a pat on the back.

  3. Great post. I agree, I feel like an asshole a great deal of the time. I am so embarrassed to admit this, but I've been known to pass random pregnant women at the mall and mutter "bitch" to myself under my breath. Now, that is terrible! Of course, I don't mean it, but why does everyone have to be pregnant? I even feel that I deserve a baby more than some pregnant friends - horrrrrible! There is reasoning behind those thoughts, but it doesn't matter. I've been wondering lately if karma is just kicking my ass for all my negativity and am trying to focus on the positives. Trying. Just know that there are others out there all trying to shake off the jealousy and hurt. I'm sure we can all do better, with an army of supporters behind, giving us strength!