Monday, December 20, 2010

A Sad Post

I pre-apologize for being a Debbie Downer but I've lost some of that positive thinking I was talking about last post...

AF showed on Saturday with no warning. This is the first month (in a year and 8 months TTC) that AF has come with out at least two days of spotting first. I feel like I should be happy about this but instead I feel blind sided, I always had that little warning and a few days to expect it to show while still holding out hope.  The rational part of me knows this is a good thing since the doctor was worried I had a luteal phase defect that caused the spotting, so most likely the clomid was successful in fixing my LP defect.

I also cried when she showed for the first time in about 6 months. I used to cry every month but at some point I just stopped, maybe I got used to it I'm not really sure, but Saturday I had a good long cry! Poor DH, he hates to see me cry and I was totally inconsolable. Oh well, I guess we all need a good cry fest every now and then.

Now on to the really sad part... DH leaves for Afghanistan on January 25th. Hes only gone for 3 or 4 months but that sounds like forever when its your husband and hes going to war. I also hate the idea of waiting another 4 months to try but I don't want this month to be about TTC, I want it to be about spending every minute I can with my hubby.

OK, I have some things to look forward to. 
1. A two day week at work 
2. Christmas with friends and family (including DH who will be home unlike a lot of our fellow military families)
3. 1 more month to tell DH how much I love him every day

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