Pregnant Girls Stalk Me

Does it ever feel like you're surrounded by a sea full of pregnant women??  I AM.  Everyone around me is pregnant.  Even my tattoo artist is pregnant.  I try and be happy for them, especially the ones who I love and know will be awesome parents but there are some that I just can't be happy about...  The truth is, the only ones I'm truly happy for and get excited about anymore are my infertile friends.  I know that they will love that baby and that pregnancy with everything they have, they will appreciate every bit of morning sickness and every labor pain.  I know this because I feel the same way.  So on this note I will tell you about my Saturday from hell.

Blue and I went in Saturday to a local tattoo shop, we had scheduled our appointment 2 weeks before, met with the artist, etc.  She seemed nice, very tattooed but good at her job.  She said it would be an all day appointment since Blue was getting 3 tattoos and I was getting 1, if I had known she was pregnant I would not have signed on for a whole day with her.  (Disclaimer: We're not big tattoo people, this was my first ever and Blue only had one before now, he got two tattoos, which important to his job in the military, and we both got wedding rings, mine is really cute and tiny and hides under my regular ring.) 


(Here's a quick pic, I'll explain why the three little hearts
in a later post, but its the only thing I can imagine having
on my body for ever!)

Anyway, we knew we were in for a whole day with this chick and you have to like someone to be willing to spend a whole day with them.  So we met her 2 weeks before this, she seemed nice, used the F word about 2 times per sentence but otherwise personable. 

Blue is laying down on the table getting his first tattoo done, we've been there about 15 minutes and she asks if we have any kids.  We answer no and she replies "good choice, we wouldn't either if it weren't for an accidental pregnancy."  She then proceeded to tell us how shes pregnant now and they find out the sex on Tuesday.  The next six hours were a mix of complaints like "I have to pee again, damn baby!" and "I can smell my neighbors cigarette smoke now, I never noticed before because I smoked too." and my personal favorite, which she said AT LEAST 10 times, "NEVER get pregnant, seriously don't, it sucks."

So it made me wonder how best to deal with pain in the ass pregnant women who tell you not to get pregnant?  I'm debating on my favorite answer but here are the front runners:

1. We've been trying to get pregnant for two years, I'd be happy to pee an extra 10 times per day. (the polite but passive aggressive answer.)

2.  Feel free to give the baby you're carrying to someone who actually wants a child, shit, even sell it!  There are thousands of us out there who would do anything to go through what you're going through now.  (the slightly bitchier but still bordering on polite answer.)

3. Its amazing, cigarettes and booze must increase fertility?...  Maybe I'll take them up if this IVF cycle fails? (the bitchy put her in her place answer.)

Feel free to vote on your favorite or offer up some of your own?  Maybe if we infertiles start standing up to these bitches we won't have to listen to it anymore??