Sunday, January 2, 2011

Is God trying to tell me something?

I can't help but wonder if God is trying to tell me something.  I have horrifically painful ovulation, it hurts to walk let alone do 'it'.  If I was born any time before the 1960s I wouldn't have even known when I should do it and certainly wouldn't have wanted to do it when I felt so awful.

So is having painful ovulation an evolutionary suggestion that maybe you shouldn't do it when you're able to make a baby? 

What about passing off these endometriosis genes?  Am I just overriding the natural selection against my genes?  If my hypothetical daughter has endo will I feel guilty forever knowing that I passed it on to her?  My mom had endo and I certainly wouldn't ask her to go back and choose not to have me, but my pain is much worse than hers, what if my daughter's is worse than mine?

So I get down in the dumps until I think of the other "what ifs."  What if they find a cure for endo?  What if my daughter never even has to think about it?  And then I let myself look forward to bringing a baby girl into this world.

I ovulated yesterday, CD15.  The TWW begins!

1 comment:

  1. Clomid makes me have pretty bad O pain, too! I know how you feel. It sucks!

    It's hard not to think about the what ifs. I wonder what the odds are of passing on Endo? I have wondered if my kids will have fertility problems someday. I would probably urge them to get tested early on.

    Wishing you lots of luck in your TWW!